Breast cancer lesson number 114: Keep your face to the sunshine and you won’t see the shadows

With four rounds under my belt, the day before chemo is now less a time for thinking about the side effects desperate to keep me awake over the next two weeks, and more a chance to enjoy a bit of normality before the poison starts to flow. With chemo five scheduled for 2pm tomorrow, I’m feeling positive.

The good news is I know what to expect. And the bad news? It’s Tax and not FEC that awaits me in the chair (who would have thought I’d be craving pink rather than sugary sweet pee)! Three weeks ago, I was pumped up on steroids worried (and rightly so) about the new Docetaxel regime and the impact it would have on my body and my life. Three weeks on, having narrowly avoided A & E and experienced a whole raft of side effects (bone pain to me feels like my bones are growing out of my skin, which is certainly an unusual feeling), I am ready for the next one. When you don’t know what’s coming, it’s hard to prepare. Now, I fully intend to take painkillers and fluconazole before I get any side effects, to stop them in their tracks. After all, prevention is better than cure.

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So what do you do on a pain-free and as-normal-as-you-can-feel-on-chemo day? With steroids egging me on, I have cleaned, written pink heart messages for two of my medical team, had a massage, enjoyed a rather exciting yoghurt shake and, most importantly, made the most of the sunshine. Together with a walk to the train (I walk to the third station on the line now not the one behind my house to help the weight and the wallet) and a jog/walk around the park, my mum and I have banked around 15km. She thinks she comes up to care for me and what actually happens is she gets roped into a workout! Right now, I feel I could take on the world, but I think I will just focus on taking on the clear toxic infusion that’s dying to find its way into my PICC line.

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Thank you sunshine for giving me the motivation to hit the training ground (aka Greenwich Park) and keep my spirits up. And, thank you mum for keeping me company. I am £15 off my £1,000 fundraising target and I hope that, barring a big infection or debilitating side effects, I will be on the start line (and the finish line) on 13 July to do my bit for Breast Cancer Care. I feel proud of myself that, before my diagnosis, I had never thought about (let alone trained for) a 10k. I also feel proud that I am exercising more on chemo than before it! That’s certainly a reason to smile, even on a cloudy day.

Chemo, I feel fit and I feel ready (just ginger baking left to go). After tomorrow, there will be one left to go!

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