Breast cancer lesson number 42: Make your next appointment a real treat

If my diary is anything to go by, I can tell you now, NHS staff are busy (and I mean busy). Let’s face it, when undergoing active treatment, a week without a trip to the hospital (or a least a series of letters) can seem a bit disconcerting.

Stood waiting for the nurse to puncture me with a giant needle and implant of Zoladex this morning, however, I was hit not by the fact it was my third appointment of the week and it was only Tuesday, but by the fact that it was before 9am and the waiting room was packed. On each warm seat was a patient (or supportive shoulder) with their own story, their own medical history and their own treatment plan. Each one of those patients needed time. But, when you have a waiting room overflowing with people, time is the one thing in short supply.

I am in awe of the NHS. This has nothing to do with the number of needles that have made it under my skin over the last 32 years, the eight general anaesthetic procedures I have now racked up or the phone system that you do occasionally get lost in. This has everything to do with the level of care that I have received – and continue to receive – on a daily basis. It’s the breast care nurse who attended my oncology appointment yesterday just because she wanted to catch up with me. It’s the surgeon who stopped me in the corridor to tell me I was looking well. It’s the student nurse who took me to the toilet seven times in one day on the ward and gave me a wonderful shower when I couldn’t move properly. It’s the receptionist who said how great it was to see me smile. See the NHS as a large, flawed, headline-making system and you miss the point. The NHS is an awe-inspiring service filled with people who give over their lives to make the lives of strangers just that little bit better. Don’t believe me? I challenge you to go and sit in an oncology waiting room. Then, you won’t disagree.

The trouble with cancer (like so many serious and debilitating illnesses), however, is that appointment times and treatment plans are only half the battle. A consultation provides merely a window into the life you are leading and each one is often determined by the way you are feeling when you get up that day. Away from the bright lights, the smell of alcohol wipes and the understanding faces, when it’s just you and the ‘big C’, it’s easy to feel alone and invisible. The experts are working tirelessly to save your life and reassure you at every stage. They can’t be there to help with through daily exercises, to rub oil into your scars or support you as you shape a new life plan.

I am a great believer that the more positive I am when I embark on a new course of treatment, the happier I’ll be both going through – and at the end of – it. That’s why I decided early on that I needed to find a place to go where I could be treated (in a pleasurable way), supported and encouraged to rebuild my body and my life (with not a needle in sight). The good thing about living in London is, it didn’t take me long to find it. It’s called The Haven, and I have just spent the day there exploring the wonders of Qi gong and discovering a few nutritional secrets – and surprises.

Haven by name and haven by nature, the centre is designed to help anyone affected by breast cancer. Here, deciding your treatment plan is less about the size of your tumour and more about whether you’d prefer to try a bit of homeopathy, Shiatsu or craniosacral therapy. Although there are currently three centres, this is a charity with no geographical boundaries. The therapists will skype, call, email or meet in their attempts to reach as many patients as possible. It’s the care that starts when the NHS consultation room door closes.

I learned some interesting things today, not least about blood sugar management. Here are a few fast facts to tease your palate:

1)    Cinnamon mimics insulin (will be sprinkling more liberally in future)
2)    The health benefits of turmeric are only felt by combining it with black pepper
3)    Cooking with lard is not always a bad thing (in fact cooking in lard is considered better than cooking with vegetable oil)
4)    My desire to have eggs with everything could work in my favour
5)    Apparently, try a bit of raw butter and you’ll never go back
6)    Herbs and spices are a girl’s best friend. Not only do they pack meals with great flavours, they’re superb for the body too.
7)    I drink too much tea (and wine)

I came away feeling relaxed, inspired and with a burning desire to eat porridge for breakfast all next week. Talking of food, I can confirm there is actually no fat to be grabbed from my tummy currently (I appreciate this has been engineered, but it still felt good to hear it). The nurse this morning remarked on it and I was enjoying this news until I realised it wasn’t actually a compliment – it was a problem (that was where the giant needle needed to go). Thankfully, my left side stepped up to the table. All I can say to anyone having the Zoladex implant is don’t look at the needle (especially not if you’re not having cream to numb the area)!

Today taught me that it’s healthy to see more than the hospital waiting room. Fill your diary with things that make you smile and appointment times with only positive side effects and you’ll find you’re a lot stronger when it comes to facing the milestone meetings and sharp and increasing-large needles. You’ll feel better and, so too will the team dedicated to helping you get through each treatment stage.

Let the hospital save your life and the Haven (or an equivalent near you) help you get your life back.

NB: In case you’re interested, we got seven embryos. We may never have to use them, but they’re in the freezer for the next decade!

Breast cancer lesson number 34: Take one day at a time

Hermione Granger (of Harry Potter fame) has something every single cancer patient needs. By this, I don’t mean books (although you get given quite a few), a wand (wouldn’t say no, though) or intellect (although it does come in handy when tackling those cancer terms). By this, I mean a time turner. Basically, if you ever need to be in two places at any time, you can.

In the absence of said magical device, this morning was a little bit challenging. My task, on the face of it, was simple. Visit the Assisted Conception Unit at 9am for a blood test with an anaesthetist and then head over to oncology for a 9.45am with a cancer doctor. You can usually get quite a lot done in 45 minutes. Not so in hospital. Blink and you can miss a whole day in cancer land.

Armed with a cup of tea (second of the day as first was one designed to warm the veins), five layers and a scarf, I was toasty and ready for my blood test at 8.50am. Little did I know, it would be 11.20am when they actually managed to squeeze me in to take it (by which time I had changed departments, undressed for the oncologist, redressed, and pretty much lost the benefit of all the tea drinking). The good news? He got the blood. The bad news? It wasn’t easy. The good news? At least I can handle the pain even with bad veins. The bad news? Even with a high pain threshold, it still wasn’t very nice.

Why is it that time always seems to disappear quickly when you need it the most? Running between departments certainly doesn’t do much for the stress levels, so first lesson of the day is: one day, one appointment. Any more and you quickly develop an unhealthy obsession with clocks (which all conveniently like to tell different times). In fact, I think my Blackberry likes to tease me by moving forward a minute a day just to play with my mind.

Albeit in the wrong order, I did get to both appointments and, am now, one step closer to the end of my treatment. Abraham Lincoln once said: ‘the best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.’ All I can say is, thank goodness for that. Today, I got one long look into the future. Eighteen weeks of chemotherapy followed by five weeks of radiotherapy. My reward for passing this endurance challenge? Five years of anti-oestrogen drug Tamoxifen. If that future came all at once in a giant high-dose injection, I think my body would probably start walking… with my mind not far behind. Put it this way, left arm certainly wouldn’t produce a vein for that one.

Having had a whistle-stop tour through the world of cancer drugs and its wonderful list of side effects (starting with: ‘you will lose your hair’), it didn’t take long for the subject of time to rear its head once more. Because the cancer they extracted so neatly from my body was high stage and aggressive, they want to get going… as soon as possible. For someone still strapped into a body corset for the next three weeks and still currently injecting herself with fertility drugs in any part of her body that doesn’t feel tender (there aren’t many of those left), the prospect of swapping one set of drugs for another lot (while also still trying to laugh and cough without my tummy hurting) is not particularly inviting. Guys, this is really hard – and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

It looks like my next two weeks will be a delicate juggling act of blood tests (both fertility and cancer), appointments (scans, tests and assessments), a quick anaesthetic to collect some eggs and possibly the insertion of a PICC line. Fertility and cancer are fighting for my attention and they both need time. Trouble is, by the looks of both schedules (and the current uncertainty surrounding egg harvesting day) neither really wants to wait in line. Far from avoiding two appointments in one day, I’ll be hard pushed to avoid two at the same time. If life can’t magic up a time turner (or just a few extra hours in each day), I will just have to get used to the fact that the day I wake up expecting might not be the day I end up experiencing. 

The future does looks brighter with a game plan, and I just have to accept that, for the foreseeable future, my time is not my own. All I can do is take one day at a time. If I can get through this unscathed, I will give myself the best chance of survival. Then, I might just have time on my hands – or on my side – once more.